I was having my typical Wednesday lunch with a friend and we got into a discussion about Feminism and being a women in today’s day and age and what our beliefs are so I thought I’d share some of what we discussed.
I believe I’ve written about this point before, about how you can be a feminist and still look like a woman. Some feminists believe that women shouldn’t wear make up or heels or things like that, I was even told once by one that women wear heels because they have low self-esteem. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. My friend and I are both young women who love skirts, dresses, makeup and heels, doing our hair and getting dressed up to go out. Even at my office job, I wear 4 inch heels every single day.
Typically, when you see women in positions of power, those positions that were once considered a “man’s” position, they dress very masculine, in business suits. There’s nothing wrong with a business suits, but some have the tendency to give women less of a figure and make them look more like a man.
Hillary Clinton was always seen in one of those suits, except when she was first lady and was supposed to take on that role of a woman. Politics have been seen as a man’s job, so that’s what she did. Women are starting to appear with more feminine traits in positions of power (politics, business, etc.) but not enough in my opinion. My questions to those feminists out there believing that women shouldn’t get dolled up because it makes us “sexual objects”, why do I have to dress like a man to compete with one? I can look like a woman, embrace my femininity and do everything a man can do. All in a day’s work and a pair of 4 inch heels.
We ended up going on so many tangents and ended up on the next frustrating topic. I’d like to preface this with the fact that we both believe that you can’t be extreme in politics, you can only be democrat/republicans because democrats/republicans are always right and they have no flaws and are full of unicorns and sunshine! Every side has flaws and if you can’t recognize those flaws, you can’t make your group better and you have to recognize good aspects of your opponent’s side to work together to get things done.
The one thing we absolutely don’t understand about politics is why are men telling us what to do with our bodies? The entire debate on birth control is so frustrating! I don’t believe in sex before marriage so I wouldn’t need birth control now to prevent a child since I’m not active because I’m not married.However, my menstrual cycles are awful and for a while they were so heavy I literally couldn’t do anything to manage them. My friend had the same problem. My sister, she gets migraines so bad that she is vomiting and has to stay in bed because she is so sensitive to light. Mom, when she was my age, was getting hers twice a month because of an imbalance in her hormones. Men don’t understand that birth control can also be used as a medication to fix these side effects of a woman’s period and the reason being is the last time I checked men don’t get periods. Don’t instruct me on things that you have absolutely NO idea what they are like.
Also, even if a woman has decided to have sex before marriage or a married couple wants birth control, that is their right and their choice! The argument that I hear most often relates to religion. If you are of a faith that doesn’t believe in birth control, that is great, stick to your values and believes, don’t let people change those, argue and don’t use birth control. Just keep the religious argument out of my politics. The last time I checked, we sought independence from England in 1776 in order to separate church and state. If there is a political argument about birth control, throw it at me during a political debate, if it’s a religious one, keep it out of politics and argue religion when it doesn’t involve politics or during a personal argument. If there is only a religious argument, then it should just be a personal choice not a governmental one.
Next is the entire idea that if a man sleeps with multiple women he’s a hero and if a woman sleeps with multiple men, she’s a slut and of course that is not fair at all. I personally think one night stands are dangerous, you could be attacked by the person you leave with, they could have a disease and I think you should wait for marriage, but it is their choice not mine! I will NEVER judge a person, man or woman, unless they treat the opposite gender poorly.
That topic was short lived and led us straight onto the topic of feminists and the porn industry. I don’t like porn, I’ve never in my life watched porn and I’ve never had the desire too. Personally, I don’t think there should be a porn industry, I do believe that at times, depending on who is watching it, their background and various other factors, it desensitized men (or women) to the opposite gender, but in most cases it is men. I also think that is glamorize sex too much (as to too many things in our society currently). HOWEVER, if a woman has some desire to enter this industry, then it is her choice. As women, we fought for the right to make our own decisions and not be ordered around by other people. What is the difference if a man is giving us an order or a woman is? Just because I don’t agree with the entire industry doesn’t mean I’m going to try to control and take away another woman’s right to make a choice.
This blog has gotten a lot longer than I expected! We just had such a great discussion and agreed on so many topics, I had to write about it! Obviously these statements and frustrations are generalizations, not all feminists think you should look like a man and not all men are ordering women around about birth control. Maybe one day I’ll elaborate on some of these with more details.
I’d love to hear your feedback, if you’re a hard-core feminist, a woman or a man, tell me what your opinions are or if there are other topics that frustrate you.