Victim Blaming

It has recently been announced that someone hacked the iCloud and nude photos of celebrities have been stolen and released to the public.  Some people actually have the audacity to blame the celebrities.  I could go on and on about this because it frustrates me so much, but instead of writing thousands of words few will finish, I’ll sum it up quickly.

What two consenting adults do behind closed doors is their business.  If they want to send nude photos to each other that’s not anyone’s business except theirs.

I’ve been seeing screen shots of tweets posted by so many people blaming the celebrities, saying protect your computer better or you shouldn’t take them in the first place.  Well if someone breaks into your secure house and steals your diamond ring, do people come up to you and say “Well that’s your fault.  You shouldn’t have bought that ring in the first place.”  The answer is no they don’t.  Someone STOLE that ring which is YOUR personal property just as they STOLE these private images which are not theirs.  This is simply victim blaming.

In a perfect world, everyone who viewed these photos and who stole them should be charged with a crime.  This is not a joke, this is not funny.  These are very private, personal and intimate things that have been taken and distributed without permission. 

That’s all I have to say on the issue.

♥ Meggie

Halloween Sluts

Halloween is a time when women come under fire.  People (mostly women) are shouting and raging about women’s costumes, saying they are over-sexualizing women and the women who wear them are sluts!

Personally, I would love to see more costumes that cover my body.  I don’t feel comfortable in the costumes presented to me in the store, these super super low cut dresses that barely cover a woman’s butt.  That is not how I feel comfortable presenting myself as a woman in a public setting, maybe to a husband or something, but not just for fun in public.  If I wore some of these outfits, I just feel too exposed.  I went shopping for an outfit once and I finally found one that went down to just above my knees and wasn’t too low-cut.

However, just because I don’t feel comfortable wearing those costumes doesn’t mean I have to right to order around women who do.  I am a feminist.  What is the difference if I’m telling a woman what to do, wear or think or if a man is telling her to do that?  If a woman feels comfortable dressing like that, then she should have the right to do so.

We can’t just go around calling women “sluts”.  That is slut shaming and makes it ok for women who do express their sexuality in ways that are more liberal to be labeled as dirty or slutty or a multitude of negative names.  However when men express sexuality, they are just being men, shame on you men,  That’s about it.  We are always taught that women are the source of men’s temptation (like their pants just FLY off when a woman walks by) and that women should be the pure ones, which is why women are called sluts and whores while boys will be boys.

This is a general statement & not everyone is like this but it is a prevalent theme in society.  Women in society can no longer be characterized as something negative if they are more liberal and make their own choice to act a certain way, whether that be a tiny costume to going home with a man.  I wouldn’t partake in any of these actions and going home with someone could be very dangerous so I’m not suggesting that is something you should do, but if a woman does do that, makes a consensual choice she is not a slut, she is a woman.  She is a woman making a choice of her own.  She is a woman not a slut, a woman.

Don’t judge a woman and seriously remember (no matter how childish it seems) when you’re pointing a finger at someone, there are three pointing back at yourself.  I’m sure there would be plenty of people who would have labeled my costume as “slutty” or me a “slut” even though it went to my knees and didn’t show cleavage, but to some that is more liberal than they choose to be.

I also understand that when you dress a certain way there are going to be judgements about people, that is just human nature and a fact of life.  However, my point in this is saying, yes you can be mad at these costumes and don’t buy them for yourself, but keep in mind there are women out there who feel comfortable wearing them.  So maybe it is over-sexualizing yourself if you wore them, but other women don’t view it as such.  Don’t try to take away choices from women because then you are no better than the society & men who try to take away their choices as well.

Just some food for thought.

Everyone have a happy happy happy Halloween, be safe, be smart and enjoy your holiday.

♥ Meggie

What Has Music Become

So the VMA’s were on last night and I didn’t watch them.  I had a concert to go to, but I am looking up performances on Youtube, like NSYNC.  I am a 90s child and I do have to admit I was so excited they reunited (even though Backstreet Boys will always have the #1 place in my heart).

Of course every social media outlet is just blowing up about Miley Cyrus, so I watched her performance as well.  This blog won’t be about her because it is obvious her performance we lewd and vulgar, it was beyond pushing the envelope and I’m not going to waste my time.

What I do want to talk about are some comments regarding her performance with Robin Thicke, when she was grinding against him.  So many comments I read say that how could she, he’s married! or how slutty she is for grinding against him like that.  When I watched the video, he accepted the behavior which means it was rehearsed that way and not only that he stepped up behind her butt, so if you are going to call her a slut then he is one as well since he is willingly participating in those same actions.  Instead of saying how horrible she is for doing that to a married man, what about shame on the married man for grinding against a young girl!  Both were willing parties and both should be criticized equally.

Not only that, his outfit look like he was trying to be someone released from jail with his black and white stripes, like some sort of pimp suit!  Who knows, I could be reading way too far into that, but that’s the image it could portray and that message is disgusting.  With that outfit and him grinding up against Miley, they are both in the wrong and both being exceedingly vulgar, simple as that.

The rest of her performance there are no words to describe it and honestly I think it should be ignored and simply explained as her pleading for attention and shock value, but if you are going to criticize the little duet those two did, don’t put all the blame on her because he was being just as bad when they were together.

I do have to say that I am saddened by the fact that in order to be famous now, you have to go for shock value not talent.  This includes women running around in their underwear (EX: Lady Gaga in her little thong underwear or whatever she was wearing, or a few years ago in her meat suit??).  I’ve noticed this trend more in women as well.  Don’t get me wrong, if you are confident in your body (and everyone should be no matter their size), go ahead, show it off!! However, that doesn’t mean run around in your underwear or skirts so short your thong shows or in these leotard outfits that show so much cleavage you’re basically duct taped into it so you don’t fall out.

You can be classy and sexy.  These celebrities are a role models for young women and they should be showing that you don’t have to give it all away in 1 glance to be successful.  If you have to dress like that to get any type of attention, then you aren’t that talented of a singer because talented singers or musicians don’t need to rely on shock value, on how shocked the audience will be at how much skin is shown or what completely odd thing you wear or do on stage or in the audience.

Maybe one day we will get back to what music was, talented people performing songs that had social meaning or just made people feel something,  songs that didn’t need to be accompanied by shock value and overly sexual performances.

♥ Meggie