More and more lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to be in a relationship, which is why I decided to write this blog to solidify and sort out my ideas. I have been working through my own experiences and I’ve talked to people who long to be in a relationship but have a list of criteria and others who enjoy their simplistic partnership.
I’ve never had a list of criteria, I’ve never had a type, I’ve never really thought that much about it to be honest, but now I’m considering my list, what I want my partner to be like.
In a partnership, I think there should be changes made by each person because whether you are married or best friends, in any personal relationship there will always be little annoyances or problems that have to be worked through. Nothing huge or extensive, just little things and that’s ok. If both people were identical, that would be pretty boring. . .As long as there is communication, it’s totally fine. Both partners should feel completely comfortable talking about anything to each other, that is something I cherish and value.
There is a problem if you have to sacrifice too much of yourself, change who you are to suit that person, which I have experienced in the past and I won’t relinquish any part of myself for any future partner again.
As I was walking through my list, I thought about what people typically first mention, physical attributes. . . . I couldn’t think of any. Of course there are physical attributes I’m more attracted to, I love green eyes, tall, in shape, dark hair, but eye color wouldn’t make me not want to date someone, height doesn’t make a man, race is unimportant, hair color is just as moot as eye color. Really I have no list of physical traits, I could care less about what a person looks like because I know if I click with them, then I will be physically attracted to them so why waste type putting myself in a box with a physical definition of a man when their personality is what truly matters?
The next on most lists is what is their job. Really, as long as they are employed and motivated that’s all that’s important. There has to be a responsibility for bills that is necessary and a hope for a financially stable position in life. Having a lot of money isn’t important, it is how responsibly you manage your money, I guess that’s a good way to describe it.
The most important thing on my list for a partner is to be respectful.
1. They must respect themselves, find value in themselves. I think it could be very negative being with someone who doesn’t love themselves. Not only will they not be able to give the care you need, but when someone has confidence in themselves, that is a very attractive quality. They know they are a wonderful creation, a beautiful miracle on this planet.
2. They must respect other. If I’m with someone who can’t value others, that speaks volumes about their character and I don’t think any more needs to be explained on this particular topic.
3. They must respect me. I want to be cared for as much as I care for them, I would have a desire for them to be as excited as I am. Since rediscovering myself and my self worth, I know I won’t settle, I know I won’t find myself in a bad situation again. I will be exceptionally proud of my partner, I will be with someone who is interesting and charming, responsible and respectful, someone who can take care of me but accept me as the independent woman I am and someone who can communicate with me about anything, even if it’s something about me that is a bit annoying. 🙂
I will be elated they are by my side in life and show them off! I know that might sound like a weird statement, show them off, but at this point in my life I feel even more secure in who I am as a woman. When I find a partner, I know it will be a positive choice in my life, they will be an incredible person who I will be more than happy to show to the world. I am exceptionally demonstrative in any relationship, whether it is friend, family or dating because I’m like an excitable puppy! I love people who I chose to be around and are excited to share my love of them to whoever I meet. I can’t help it! 🙂
So that is my list. My list and my promise to myself to never lose myself and find someone who will value me as I value them.