You Can’t Get Married!

Today is the first day Prop. 8 is being heard in the Supreme Court.  For those who don’t know, Prop. 8 makes it illegal for same-sex couples to get married in the state of California.  Why is this so important to the entire country?  If this law is determined to be unconstitutional, then other laws banning same-sex marriage in other states will be unconstitutional and then men will only marry men and women will only marry women and our children will turn gay and then we’ll have to debate whether it is o.k. to marry animals and then the U.S. will erupt into complete nd total CHAOS!  Right?

In all seriousness, I am in COMPLETE support of gay marriage.  I think forbidding it is discrimination and a limitation of basic human rights, the right of equality and to love and to find happiness.

Now, the argument against gay marriage is religious and there is really nothing else that is preventing this.  The argument of well they could just fake it to get various benefits doesn’t make sense because Heterosexual couples can do that too and aside from that, I haven’t heard any non-religious argument against gay marriage.

Here’s the thing, if you are against same-sex marriage because of your religion that is fine.  Not everyone will agree on the same things.  If that is what you are a firm believer in, then stick to it. However, don’t be cruel about it.  There is a difference in opposing something and just being a disgusting person.  Those who commit acts of violence against homosexuals are disgusting and that is NOT part of Christianity last time I checked or any other religion.  Those who run around saying “you disgusting (insert slur here), burn in hell, you are useless abominations to this planet, go die”, that is not Christian either, so don’t back up your hatred with religion because you are NOT religious if you treat your fellow-man that way.  I have met plenty of religious people (most of whom are friends and family since half of my family consists of strict Christians who are against same-sex marriage) who say “I just don’t think they should be able to marry because marriage is between man and woman” (which I personally don’t agree with or understand why not) BUT they leave it at that or explain their opinion in a nice way to start a discussion!  They have their disagreements but they aren’t mean or violent or hateful, they just disagree, accept them as fellow humans who deserve to be treated as such, but that is their opinion and if they voice it appropriately, then let them have it.  Not only that, even though you don’t have the same opinion as I do, keep it, stand by it and stand strong!  Just be nice. 🙂

I’ve heard a lot of arguments against gay marriage and I know they’ve been talked about a lot already, how some don’t make much sense at all.  For example, the argument that children should have both a male and female figure in their lives.  So we should make families that only have a mom or dad (not divorced couples that have split visitation or something like that), we should make it illegal for them to have a child because kids need both a mom and dad.

The next one is that it’s unnatural to have a child when you cannot produce it yourself.  Ok, then infertile couples shouldn’t go to clinics to try to have a child because that is unnatural and we should DEFINITELY outlaw Viagra because if you can’t participate in sex naturally, then it is just not meant to be.  Those are just two of many arguments that don’t make sense to me.  Then there is the entire slippery slope argument of if we allow gay marriage, then what is next? We can marry animals?! No, that is ridiculous people. Come on, really?

Now, I know I might be coming off as abrasive, but this is just something that I just don’t understand and is so upsetting to me.  I am not a lesbian, I’m 100% straight and it still upsets me.  We did not create love so who are we as human beings to define what love is or who has the right to express love through marriage?!  A marriage is a legally binding contract, not religious at its center.  Obviously it means more than that to some if they want it to have religious significance.  To me personally, it’s not a contract under God, it is just a statement of my undying love, my devotion to one man for the rest of my life.  However you view marriage, whether it is religious or not or somewhere in between, it is beautiful and exciting, a union of two people who love each other so much, so why must we deny that right to two people in love?

We used to not give rights to people of different skin colors, we used to not allow interracial marriage (I believe it wasn’t until 1967 that all laws forbidding interracial marriage were declared unconstitutional) but still they were looked down upon.  When my white grandmother wanted to marry my Puerto Rican grandfather, her mother cried for 3 days.  When my white mom wanted to marry my half PR father IN THE 1980s, people told them that they’d have zebra children, to marry in their own race and that their kids would be black with tails.  Without interracial marriage, I would not be here and its hard being mixed sometimes because I’ll have people say, it’s ok you look white or that I can’t call myself PR.  It’s 2013 and I have just felt a small part of discrimination and it hurts, so I can’t imagine if I wasn’t allowed to marry my boyfriend who is Mexican because that wasn’t right.

When I give the example of interracial marriages, some come back with the argument that it’s the sex that is the problem.  Well in interracial marriages sex was the problem too, it might not have been forbidden by the Bible, but even like my mom was told “you should marry in your own race” which is also talking about sex because mixed children would be bad.

To sum up everything, and I know this is going to sound insensitive, but I live in the United States, where church and state are separate and that is the reason we separated from England in 1776.   So unless there are some arguments are not influenced by religion, then there shouldn’t be legislation outlawing it.  It’s fine if those are your personal beliefs and if you want to discuss those in a non-political situation, but legislation is government which is separate from religion.  Our government is not the church or part of the church so don’t make laws where I have to abide by the Christian religious text because I am not Christian.  You are totally able to voice your opinion in a nice way, but don’t make laws the require me to adhere or anyone to a religious text.

I think it is just as wrong as racial discrimination and would much rather see a same-sex couple provide an amazing loving home for a child who doesn’t have a loving family rather than Snooki or any girl from the Teen Mom series have kids.  That should be illegal!  If you’re going to criticize family, criticize the ones that need to be, the ones neglecting their children, beating them, ignoring them, not ones that provide love and love each other.

We as flawed human beings, whether we are the President, King or Queen, Priest, Teacher, Mother or Father or receptionist for an insurance brokerage, it is not our right to determine that people cannot marry when they love each other because we cannot define what we didn’t create.  It breaks my heart, knowing that there is still this discrimination and negativity toward our fellow-man, our brothers and sister who we are to love.  I don’t understand it at all and I just truly hope that the Supreme Court makes the fair decision, the one not influenced by one faith’s beliefs.  That was not what this country was founded on, our country was founded on the right to freedom and happiness, a separate church and state and equal opportunities for everyone.

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2 thoughts on “You Can’t Get Married!

  1. I can’t believe that in 2013 we are still stuck on this issue, does the world/country really not have any more serious issues that they need to make judgement on whether or not two people want to be together…it’s ridiculous!

    • I know! And it really hurts when you are told you can’t do something because of who you are. I have only experienced MINIMAL mean words because of being mixed but at least I can marry and don’t face NEARLY the hatred and cruel words they do because of who they love! The reason the world is so beautiful is because we’re all different! We need to embrace that!

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