You Can’t Get Married!

Today is the first day Prop. 8 is being heard in the Supreme Court.  For those who don’t know, Prop. 8 makes it illegal for same-sex couples to get married in the state of California.  Why is this so important to the entire country?  If this law is determined to be unconstitutional, then other laws banning same-sex marriage in other states will be unconstitutional and then men will only marry men and women will only marry women and our children will turn gay and then we’ll have to debate whether it is o.k. to marry animals and then the U.S. will erupt into complete nd total CHAOS!  Right?

In all seriousness, I am in COMPLETE support of gay marriage.  I think forbidding it is discrimination and a limitation of basic human rights, the right of equality and to love and to find happiness.

Now, the argument against gay marriage is religious and there is really nothing else that is preventing this.  The argument of well they could just fake it to get various benefits doesn’t make sense because Heterosexual couples can do that too and aside from that, I haven’t heard any non-religious argument against gay marriage.

Here’s the thing, if you are against same-sex marriage because of your religion that is fine.  Not everyone will agree on the same things.  If that is what you are a firm believer in, then stick to it. However, don’t be cruel about it.  There is a difference in opposing something and just being a disgusting person.  Those who commit acts of violence against homosexuals are disgusting and that is NOT part of Christianity last time I checked or any other religion.  Those who run around saying “you disgusting (insert slur here), burn in hell, you are useless abominations to this planet, go die”, that is not Christian either, so don’t back up your hatred with religion because you are NOT religious if you treat your fellow-man that way.  I have met plenty of religious people (most of whom are friends and family since half of my family consists of strict Christians who are against same-sex marriage) who say “I just don’t think they should be able to marry because marriage is between man and woman” (which I personally don’t agree with or understand why not) BUT they leave it at that or explain their opinion in a nice way to start a discussion!  They have their disagreements but they aren’t mean or violent or hateful, they just disagree, accept them as fellow humans who deserve to be treated as such, but that is their opinion and if they voice it appropriately, then let them have it.  Not only that, even though you don’t have the same opinion as I do, keep it, stand by it and stand strong!  Just be nice. 🙂

I’ve heard a lot of arguments against gay marriage and I know they’ve been talked about a lot already, how some don’t make much sense at all.  For example, the argument that children should have both a male and female figure in their lives.  So we should make families that only have a mom or dad (not divorced couples that have split visitation or something like that), we should make it illegal for them to have a child because kids need both a mom and dad.

The next one is that it’s unnatural to have a child when you cannot produce it yourself.  Ok, then infertile couples shouldn’t go to clinics to try to have a child because that is unnatural and we should DEFINITELY outlaw Viagra because if you can’t participate in sex naturally, then it is just not meant to be.  Those are just two of many arguments that don’t make sense to me.  Then there is the entire slippery slope argument of if we allow gay marriage, then what is next? We can marry animals?! No, that is ridiculous people. Come on, really?

Now, I know I might be coming off as abrasive, but this is just something that I just don’t understand and is so upsetting to me.  I am not a lesbian, I’m 100% straight and it still upsets me.  We did not create love so who are we as human beings to define what love is or who has the right to express love through marriage?!  A marriage is a legally binding contract, not religious at its center.  Obviously it means more than that to some if they want it to have religious significance.  To me personally, it’s not a contract under God, it is just a statement of my undying love, my devotion to one man for the rest of my life.  However you view marriage, whether it is religious or not or somewhere in between, it is beautiful and exciting, a union of two people who love each other so much, so why must we deny that right to two people in love?

We used to not give rights to people of different skin colors, we used to not allow interracial marriage (I believe it wasn’t until 1967 that all laws forbidding interracial marriage were declared unconstitutional) but still they were looked down upon.  When my white grandmother wanted to marry my Puerto Rican grandfather, her mother cried for 3 days.  When my white mom wanted to marry my half PR father IN THE 1980s, people told them that they’d have zebra children, to marry in their own race and that their kids would be black with tails.  Without interracial marriage, I would not be here and its hard being mixed sometimes because I’ll have people say, it’s ok you look white or that I can’t call myself PR.  It’s 2013 and I have just felt a small part of discrimination and it hurts, so I can’t imagine if I wasn’t allowed to marry my boyfriend who is Mexican because that wasn’t right.

When I give the example of interracial marriages, some come back with the argument that it’s the sex that is the problem.  Well in interracial marriages sex was the problem too, it might not have been forbidden by the Bible, but even like my mom was told “you should marry in your own race” which is also talking about sex because mixed children would be bad.

To sum up everything, and I know this is going to sound insensitive, but I live in the United States, where church and state are separate and that is the reason we separated from England in 1776.   So unless there are some arguments are not influenced by religion, then there shouldn’t be legislation outlawing it.  It’s fine if those are your personal beliefs and if you want to discuss those in a non-political situation, but legislation is government which is separate from religion.  Our government is not the church or part of the church so don’t make laws where I have to abide by the Christian religious text because I am not Christian.  You are totally able to voice your opinion in a nice way, but don’t make laws the require me to adhere or anyone to a religious text.

I think it is just as wrong as racial discrimination and would much rather see a same-sex couple provide an amazing loving home for a child who doesn’t have a loving family rather than Snooki or any girl from the Teen Mom series have kids.  That should be illegal!  If you’re going to criticize family, criticize the ones that need to be, the ones neglecting their children, beating them, ignoring them, not ones that provide love and love each other.

We as flawed human beings, whether we are the President, King or Queen, Priest, Teacher, Mother or Father or receptionist for an insurance brokerage, it is not our right to determine that people cannot marry when they love each other because we cannot define what we didn’t create.  It breaks my heart, knowing that there is still this discrimination and negativity toward our fellow-man, our brothers and sister who we are to love.  I don’t understand it at all and I just truly hope that the Supreme Court makes the fair decision, the one not influenced by one faith’s beliefs.  That was not what this country was founded on, our country was founded on the right to freedom and happiness, a separate church and state and equal opportunities for everyone.

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Body Issues

I went to a fashion show this Thursday to support Women at Risk International.  I didn’t really understand half of the outfits that were shown because I don’t know why anyone would wear them in real life, but it was fun hanging out with a friend that I haven’t seen in a very long time and it was a super fun event!

My friend and I were discussing the model industry. I find it, in some cases, that it is very depressing and this is for the same reason many criticize this industry, all of the women are so thin a strong wind will blow them away!  I do understand not all models are like that, but in high fashion run way shows and magazines, they are.  I’ve watch the Victoria’s Secret fashion show and it made me want to eat something!  Some women might have that body type, all of us are different, however others just looked so thin. and sickly  Where are the curvy figures and thighs and butts and arms and tummies?!?!

In this conversation, my friend and I were talking about how I would be a plus size model, or at least on the verge of being one.  I’m just under 5’9″ and about 150lbs, sometimes more or less, depending on how often I get to enjoy my bike rides!  To me that is sad because I’m average.  It’s not sad to me that I would be plus size, I told my friend that I would rather be a plus size model than be all ribs and hip bones, but it was sad because this makes women think that their average size is too fat.  Then she said something that shocked me and made me just want to hug her and cry!  She said she wouldn’t mind that, having her hips and ribs showing.  Now, I understand that some women are just tiny ladies, like Debra Messing.  Messing is just really slender and you can tell that is simply her body type because she doesn’t look emaciated, her face isn’t sunk in or anything like that.  I just couldn’t imagine wanting to be that thin if it wasn’t your body type and that is not my friend’s body type.  She is meant to have curves and thighs and a butt, just like I am.

Now she is currently doing the P90X program because she wants to lose a little weight.  Her goal isn’t some crazy goal, it seems very reasonable.  If she wanted to lose weight, the weight she wanted to lose wouldn’t make her unhealthy.  The problem is, it is almost like it is consuming her.  She says she has trouble sleeping, but she’ll go to bed even later because she has to do her P90 and only skip one day.  I get that you need to work out regularly, but she works full-time AND goes to college, I think it would be ok for her to miss a day or two and get some sleep.  Today she was sick and from her Facebook statuses she sounded very sick, sick enough to go to a doctor, but she had to get her two workouts in so she can get her body weight down to fit into a swim suit!

Let me state something before I go any further.  To me, working out should be to make you healthy.  I understand people want to look good to, but health should be the primary goal.  For example, when I am not in school and just working, I try to work out to get back in shape and become a healthier me and along with that, my stomach gets a little more tone, same with my arms.  However, my primary goal is not to lose so much weight and become so toned that my ribs show and I barely have any legs and my hips stick out because that is just not my body type and that is an unhealthy goal for me personally.  So I do understand that working out is to make your body look better and that is ok, but it should be done in a healthy way.

Back to my friend, she isn’t being healthy.  You shouldn’t work out twice when you are sick enough to go to the doctor and say that you can barely drive because you feel so ill JUST for the sake of working out to lose weight.  You shouldn’t want your ribs sticking out because that is what a model looks like so you should look like that too.  You NEED NEED NEED NEED to worry about the health of your body first.

Ladies and gentlemen, YOU ARE FREAKING GORGEOUS!  Your body is YOUR body, it is unique and special and one of a kind!  Let me tell you ladies, for those of you who hate your butt and your arms and your thighs, I have a butt so big that I have to buy pants a size bigger because I can’t pull them up over my butt and hips or they won’t fit around my thighs and do you want to know a secret?  I love my big but and I love my big thighs.  They give my a figure and shapely legs.  If I pinch my stomach, I can pinch my “tummy fat” and no matter what I do to try to tone my arms, I can still pinch that “underarm fat” and wiggle it if I hold my arms up.  I love it, I love my body because I feel sexy.  I go to shop in Little Village to find jeans to fit my butt or have them tailored or just get a really good belt. I rock my bikini in the summer and love sleeveless and strapless tops and dresses.  I have another friend who would be considered a bit overweight and she ROCKS her bikini and strapless shirts and dresses and she looks sexy!  Do you know why?  She is beyond confident and loves her body!

Please please please LOVE YOUR BODY!  Love yourself for the absolutely beautiful and PERFECT person you are.  You are freaking sexy as hell and you just have to find your inner god or goddess and flaunt it baby!  Then if you wanted to lose a bit of weight or tone your arms or butt or tummy, you will still love yourself.

If you don’t love yourself the way you are now, you will never be perfect and will always find things you want to change or something wrong with you and that is when problems start.  When you lose your weight, you might want to continue you losing more and more or maybe do something more drastic like plastic surgery.  You are already perfect and beautiful and love and accept your body NOW and when you have achieved that, then set some reasonable goals and do it to be healthy!

Now, my challenge for you is to click here and check out this FANTASTIC article I found and repeat their sayings and do some of the fill in the blanks.  We all have our insecurities and I am confident but I do at times wonder if I could lose weight or perfect something about myself so I’ll even do a few of the fill in the blanks and my favorite mantras!

1. My body is a gift from a higher being and nature!

3. I love my butt and legs (I can’t just pick one).

4. The number on the scale does NOT determine my self-worth.

5. The size of my jeans does not dictate my happiness (It just means I have a great butt! :D)

8. I’m thankful to my body for allowing me to wear beautiful dresses and fill them out and for allowing me to see my family and friends, feel their touch and embrace and hear their amazingly beautiful voices.

12. Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of the body.

14. I am confident, loving, caring, determined and motivated.

So tell me!  What are going to be your life mantras and do some of the fill in the blanks!  Leave your answer in the comment section!

Frustrations

For those who have been reading my blogs for the past few days, you probably have heard about the Pit Bull I was trying to rescue.  Unfortunately, we were not able to find a home for her.  I tried everything.  Her photo was on my Tumblr several times, I sent over 60 tweets, I emailed people, I emailed pages I follow on Facebook, other rescues for advice and wrote a blog about her.  I have some help from others which was more too, like Caroline (you can read her blog here) was fantastic and put out a Tweet with the little Pits information, and some lovely people on Twitter, one even tried to get a radio station involved!  It was so nice and so wonderful to see people get involved like that, to save an animal, especially a Pitbull.  It made me so happy, I don’t even have words for how happy that made me.  It was definitely a lot harder than I expected knowing what was going to happen to this dog, even never having met her, and knowing that I couldn’t to any more to rescue her.

There were also some moments that were not as happy and some lessons I learned about communicating with people.  I had emailed one rescue that I had volunteered with before saying I have this Pitbull and I’m looking for a foster right now, could you help or if they had any advise the could give me about what I could do.  The president of the organization was emailing me and was very nice, saying they couldn’t pull her without a foster.  Then the president asked me if I was interested in fostering and I told her I couldn’t.  I have allergies and asthma.

My allergies are breed specific for dogs and beyond awful for cats.  For cats, even if I go to a person’s house with 1 cat, I have to take oral medication and an inhaler before I get to the house and then I have to cover my skin completely just to sit on anything because my skin can’t touch anything a cat does.  I have to do the same for some breeds of dog and I’ve never been around a Pitbull so I don’t know how I’d react.  I’ve also talked to doctors and they said even if I don’t have a reaction right away, I could develop a sensitivity or full-blown reaction.  Not only that, my entire family has allergies and asthma and my mom can’t take care of a dog when I’m at school because of health problems she has.

I didn’t explain all of that, I just said I couldn’t foster because I have severe allergies so I am unable to foster.  Then a second woman from the same organization sent me an email saying “Yeah no way a rescue will just pull with no foster especially a pitbull.Everyone wants them saved but not many want to foster. Im highly allergic as well but just have air cleaners and clean alot to still save the ones i want saved!”. I’m not going to include the name of the organization because it is still one that I work with and plan to continue volunteering at so I don’t want people to get a bad impression of them, but honestly after I received this, I almost started to cry when I read this, for several reasons.

First of all, I felt like she was saying that I wasn’t doing all I could to save this dog and I should just man up and get over it because if I wanted the Pit saved, I would save it.  At first I was so angry and had a really angry response planned in my head!  Of course I didn’t send that!  It would not have been appropriate to respond in that way, but I did explain my situation and how I have air cleaners in my house  and no animals and still have allergy and asthma problem and how her response was incredibly discouraging.  Sometimes when people are so involved in their cause they think that anyone who doesn’t or can’t do the exact same thing, they are just as bad as the problem itself, so they can get really mean.  I just thought that she was very mean in the way she phrased things and it really hurt me.  Being part of a nonprofit, you should be encouraging to those who want to help, especially one who has volunteered for your organization before.  To me one over zealous person or one mean person is not going to ruin an entire organization for me and there are still animals that need homes and that is why I do this, not to talk to people, haha!

Second of all, it breaks my hard to hear this emphasis on a Pitbull.  The hardest part about finding a home for this dog is because of her breed.  I have been connected with some volunteer groups that try to find homes for animals in the CACC, Chicago Animal Care and Control.  Not surprisingly, about 20 of 60 photos are Pitbulls.  We have been taught as people not to judge others by their skin color, religion, place or origin or other stereotypes.  If you ever tell someone you didn’t want to meet a person because of a stereotype, they would laugh at you and say you are being silly for thinking that.  However, we have never been taught that about dogs and it’s ok to discriminate and hate them for no other reason than their breed.  It makes me cry thinking about that.  If you don’t discriminate against people, don’t do it to animals. Please click here for an article that explain why the myths and stereotypes about PItbulls are wrong.

Some other news that brings excitement in my life is a fashion show I’m going to on Thursday night.  I have never been in the audience of a fashion show before!  I have run lights and sounds for fashion shows but this will be a fun change of pace.  I’m so excited to dress up and go out, I’ve been so busy with school and a bunch of other things.  This fashion show is to support WAR (Women at Risk) International, an organization that rescues women from human trafficking.

Also, for anyone who is interested or who lives in the Chicagoland area, I’ve started a Tumblr account you can check out here.  My email is chicagoanimals@gmail.com.  This Tumblr is set up to list some of the animals, anything from rabbits to hedgehogs to birds, dogs and cats, and hopefully find them new homes.  There is contact information for that specific rescue on there and their website or you can always contact me and I would have no problem trying to find an animal and rescue to connect you with.

Finally, there are a pair of cats, Indigo and Jackson who are in dire need of a foster home.  Their owners have moved and they need a new foster.  They only have a few days.  I have met Indigo and if I could own a cat, I would have picked him up already!  When Feral Fixers found Indigo, he was covered in blue paint (hence his name) and he has major health problems because of how much paint he ingested.  He didn’t move the first time I met him, he just laid there, drooling.  The second time I met him, I was standing by his cage, I didn’t even recognize him at first!  All of a sudden, I just something poking my sleeve and his paw was out poking me to get my attention.  He was purring and rubbing against the cage.  He was just so happy to have me talking to him.  He was purring so loudly he sounded like a motor!  I really hope to help find them a great foster.  If you are interested you can always contact me or you can email gotfriendlies@hotmail.com and that goes directly to Feral Fixers.

International Women’s Day

I haven’t posted a long blog in a while.  Last night I made a mini post, but today will be my first big post in a while.  I’ve been so busy with school and everything else!

To start off with HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!  Today is a day to celebrate being a woman!  My friend got really into it.  She started posting on my Facebook wall.  This video here is one I really liked, it will really make you think.  THEN she posted this great idea that she read in a blog!  Take a picture of in your high heels to show your support for International Women’s Day!  Here’s my photo!

SONY DSC

Now, some may believe that wearing heels to show support for International Women’s Day is ridiculous and somethings objectifys women.  I, however, believe no such thing!  Women don’t have to dress like men to be equals to them!!  I can strut around in my fancy heels and feel great and feminine and powerful!  I’ve mentioned this in a bunch of different blogs, but it’s true!  Why can’t I look feminine and enjoy dressing like it and still be equal to men?

Anyways, take the time, if you’re a man or woman, to appreciate the women in your life not only that, I urge you to take the time to think of women in other countries or in our country, women who don’t have opportunities, some of the opportunities we take for granted.  Think of your female heroes!

As women, we have come such a long way and thinking of everything my grandmothers have lived through.  They lived during a time where women just had the right to vote, they started working when women were more accepted in the workplace during World War II.  Now, I’m going to graduate college and I could become a CEO if I wanted to!  It’s crazy to me to think that something like that wasn’t possible before!

In the U.S., we still face obstacles, the glass ceiling in the corporate world, unfair wage differences, perceptions on femininity in comparison to our capability, meaning that the more feminine we appear with make up and heels, the less seriously we are to be taken.  In other countries, women still don’t have the right to vote or the right to live in safety.  Hopefully the world will continue to change and I feel so lucky for the opportunities I have  that my grandmothers didn’t when they were 22 years old!

Enjoy being a woman! Love it, embrace it!

SIDE NOTE:  If anyone hasn’t read my blog from yesterday, please check it out.  You can read it here.  I’m currently trying to find a home for an abandoned female Pit Bull.  She is being held in the Chicago Animal Control and is scheduled to be euthanized Monday, March 11th.  I’ve contacted some rescue facilities for guidance on how I should proceed and they say they can’t pull without a foster, especially when it is a Pit Bull.  No one wants a Pit Bull because of stereotypes about the breed, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.  The post contains contact information and a photo.  Please help me find a home for her, even if it’s just a temporary foster home.  We just want to keep her from being put down and then we can focus on finding her a forever home.  Thank you.

Please Help

I’ve been so busy with school lately, I haven’t had any time to blog or read anyone else’s blogs!  This one will be short.

I was approached by a friend who sent me a photo of a female Pit Bull who had been sleeping in the snow in Chicago.  She was put in Chicago Animal Control because there was no place else to put her.  My friend sent me her photo to see who I could contact to find a home for her.  There was a very frustrating experience that accompanied several emails that I had sent, but that is another blog and not the important issue here.

What is important is finding this dog a home.  If she isn’t picked up by March 11, 2013 she will be put down.  I’m trying everything.  I’ve posted her photo on Facebook and 7 people have shared that information, I’ve posted her photo on my Tumblr account which I’ve set up for the sole purpose of finding homes for homeless animals (www.tumblr.com/blog/chicagoanimallove if you want to check it out), I’ve posted her photo so many times on Twitter I’ve lost count.  I’ve emailed shelters and they can’t do anything without her having a foster.

They even said it is so hard to do with a Pit Bull because everyone believe all of the awful stereotypes about Pits so no one wants to adopt them and would rather let them die.  When I told one woman I was trying to find a home for a Pit Bull, she looked at me in disgust and said “Why?!”  I told her because they are animals, living creature that deserve just as much love as any other dog.  If you raise them to be aggressive, then they will be, but if you love them they will love you back.  You can click here to read my blog about Pit Bull Prejudice and click here for the article about Pit Bulls stating they are loving wonderful dogs.

Please, if you can help find a home for this dog, I would be so grateful.  I wish I could foster or adopt her myself, however I can’t afford a dog and I’m living with my family and with the health problems of my parents and our combined allergies, we can’t have a dog in the house.  If we could, I would have already picker her up.

Please help this dog, please.  You can contact me at chicagoanimals@gmail.com and I can get you foster papers or adoption papers and get you in contact with the American Animal Rescue Society.  That is the organization that is trying to find her a home.If you can just foster her for a while, just so they don’t put her down.  Post her photo on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, please help us find her a home or a temporary home that will be the stepping stone to her forever family.

Thank you for any help.

3-6-13 pit bull