Outside Of My Box

I’ve written before about my boyfriend who has been deported to Mexico.  He’s been going for 12 full days so far, then end of today marks number 13 (you can click here for my past blog about it, it gives his full story, our story).  When he first got down there, I was so nervous.  This is such a hard situation to deal with because we don’t know when we’ll be able to get him back home and I have tons to worry about with deciding to move down there.

I don’t want to have a family in Mexico, I know so many people do, but I don’t and the biggest part of that is because I want my ENTIRE family to visit my parents and aunts and uncles and cousins here, in Chicago.  I’m not planning on a family anytime soon, but I do want one in the future, but I don’t want to be too old to have kids when we come home and I want to take care of my children, love them and provide for them just like my parents did for me, and they’re amazing.

Then there’s an entire financial aspect of this too.  Spending money for lawyers to get him home and making less money in Mexico so when we move back here, we’ll have even less than we did there and even at 21, I’m worried about saving for retirement and being able to put money away to provide a college education if I ever have kids and then there a possibility I might have to take care of my parents, especially my mother.  As you can tell I worry and think about a lot of things all at once!  He is always there to listen, though sometimes he does listen like a stereotypical man and that does NOT help me at all, but a lot of the time he will say we’ll figure everything out but we have to take everything one step at a time.

Even though it hasn’t been that long, I’m handling this idea of a crazy long distance relationship better than I expected.  There are times when I’m just having an awful day and I just want to see him and cry in his shoulder and have him kiss my forehead and make everything better, but overall, we’re figuring things out.

We’ve gotten into a rhythm now, a rhythm of communication, which we didn’t have before (click here if you want to read more about that).  We message each other every evening, sometime we can’t and those nights I just hate not knowing.  Now at least we can talk during the day, he got a job as a barber, which is what he loves to do.  Before that he was working with his Aunt and Cousins, looking for a job of his own.  I feel like for us as a couple, we’re back on track again.

I just never really thought about moving out of the country for any time really, vacation is one thing, but moving for a year or more (actually 90 days or more) there is just so much to do!  I need a visa, but before I get a visa I have to find a job, and then I need a place to live near my job because I won’t have a car, but I’ll be in the city so that’s ok since cars are a pain in the city, but then what am I going to do with my car here? 

I’m looking at American corporations for like entry-level jobs, like customer service or even receptionist!  Just because I have a degree, I don’t expect some crazy well-paying job.  My main goal is to find a place where there is possibility of movement eventually.  For example, I work at a small family owned place right now as a secretary so of course there isn’t any movement in jobs because there are only 6 other people who work here and unless they retire, they just don’t need anyone else.  The problem is, a lot of the jobs require experience already, which I don’t have and I don’t really know right now where to look because I don’t want to accept a job from some place I’ve never heard of and can’t find anything about them because that could mean trouble.  There is just so much to do, it’s very overwhelming.

I am excited though.  I wanted to go out of the country for a year after I graduate anyway to work on my language skills.  Now at least I won’t be on my own in a strange country like I would’ve been before!  I’m going to be with someone who speaks the language fluently and know people there, which does make me feel more comfortable about going, I won’t be completely alone.

Whoever came up with they saying about life throwing you curve balls, now I really understand what they mean.  This is so unexpected, but also an opportunity to learn and grow and explore outside of my box, way way way outside of my box and I think I’m ready for that.


3 thoughts on “Outside Of My Box

  1. Wow this is a really tough situation. Sounds like you are handling it fairly well. Getting into the States is super hard. I don’t blame you for not wanting to move to Mexico! I don’t have anything genius to say but I wanted to write you something……

    • It’s been rough and I am excited to go there and learn the language better and have this incredible experience, I just don’t want to be there forever. lol I do want to come home and work in Chicago. We’re both staying really positive though and he doesn’t have any bars, so he can reapply right away, I just want to make sure we do everything right! 🙂

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