My Illegal Love

So for those of you who haven’t read my last blog about my amazing trip to the Signature Room, I said it was my last day with my boyfriend.  Yesterday I saw him for 20 minutes or so, he gave me a card with the sweetest message and a beautiful silver necklace with two small rings on it, one with his birthstone and one with mine.  I cried.

The reason why it was my last day was not because we are breaking up, we are still very much together the only problem is today he had to get on a plane to go to Mexico City because he has been deported.

He came into this country legally since he was brought over when he was about 3 years old.  His parents are both legal permanent residents and his siblings natural-born citizens.  He was born in Mexico, lived with his grandparents for a few years and then his parents came back for him after filing the proper paper work to return to Mexico and bring a child back into the United States.  The problem is that paper work only stated that they came back with a child, not specifically his name and also his parents just didn’t pursue any other paperwork to make him a resident or citizen.   They had this responsibility to him until he was 18 at which time he is no longer legally bound to them.  He didn’t pursue residency either.

His parents make me angry, he knows this and I feel bad because it’s not my life and not my parents, but it was something so easy to do, the U.S. isn’t going to deny residency to a child, especially when his parents are legally here.  Why would you bring a child back and not take care of them?  They are your child and your responsibility, you are supposed to love them like that.  He frustrates me sometimes since he could’ve done a lot of things in his life differently.  His parents never gave him any guidance so he’s made some mistakes.  To me that is partly his parents fault for their lack of involvement in his life but those are also his decisions.  These mistakes prevented him from applying for Deferred Action.

By the time I met him, he was trying to change his life around.  If he hadn’t been, there’s not way I would’ve stayed.  It was a really hard relationship to be in at first, our morals and values were so different, he didn’t treat women like I thought a man should (nothing awful, just never ever listening to me), he never try to get me home on time, he frustrated me beyond belief with so many more things, but that was all better than the place he had been before I met him.  I know I’m being vague, but some personal things aren’t meant for the Internet.

Right now though, he’s so different, his eyes are softer and he smiles more.  He used to have this look, it was a look that you see in someone who trusts no one even though they say they do, it’s that look of fear and anger and emotional distance.  Now he’ll laugh for no reason, he’ll quote T.V. shows and make goofy comments.  His eyes just light up when he smiles and that never used to happen.  Before his eyes were separate from his smile.

So I’m just waiting to hear from him now.  He left this morning and his plane should’ve already landed, I’m just waiting and worrying.  I’m planning to go down to Mexico a year from now.  I have to finish school and get the money together and find a job where I can help my parents pay my student loans, which are very small compared to others.  I’m going to get him home legally.

The worst part is not knowing how long that’s going to take, I don’t know when all the applications are going to go through or even if they are.  For those of you who are wondering, we’re not getting married, we will think about that when he is home legally first, so he’s not using me for a green card.  The worst part for me is I’m really going to miss being close to my family.  That was in my life plan, move out but not too far.  My mom has some medical problems that worry me and I want to be close for that and for Holidays and Birthdays and weekend visits.  I just hope everything goes smoothly and we can figure something out.  It’s so scary not knowing what is going to happen.

My life has turned into what feels like a Lifetime movie, it’s not what I planned at all.  I wanted the wedding in my mid-20s a job that could support a family, then kids and to work with nonprofits.  Now I’m dating a man whose past is something I never thought I’d have say my boyfriend had (I was thinking more of a college graduate business professional maybe?  Someone who’d get a 6 figure job so I could stay at home with the kids and volunteer and be active in the community and things like that, just like my parents are) and now he has been deported to Mexico and I’m not sure when he’ll be home.  It’s very scary but we can get through it, if we have survived everything we’ve been through already, then this is just the next step in our lives together.  We support each other and will find someone way to make everything work.  It’s what we always do and why we care about each other so much and make each other so happy.

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