Second Star to the Right and Straight On Till Morning

I think most people know the story of Peter Pan.  It’s something that has been popular almost without fault for decades.  It’s the whole idea of staying, being a child forever, not having to work or worry about bills or emotional pain or anything at all.  Everyone loves that idea and it’s been written about frequently.

I was just thinking about this yesterday.  I’m going to be a senior in college and my relationship with my boyfriend is complex to say the least, sometimes it feels like it will always be hard, not like normal relationship hard (which we have and work through like any couple), but like external forces determined to tear you apart hard.

It would be easier being a child, finding my Never Never Land and just living carefree with no worries, I think most people would like that at least from articles I’ve read about people wishing for the Peter Pan to come whisk them away.

Where would I be without the hardships I face and where would my boyfriend be?  I mentioned before he had a very different upbringing than I and I think that took away most of his childhood from him and took him down the wrong path.  From those mistakes though, and the consequences, he has turned into a wonderful, supportive, understanding man and I’m not sure if he would’ve become that without experiencing these hardships.

Same with me, I never had to go through the same things he did.  My childhood was easy, beyond easy, all I had to worry about was school and piano.  My parents were extremely attentive and supportive and without them, without their strictness combined with love, I would definitely be leading a life that I would not be proud of, I have no doubt in that. 

I’ve still had bad moments.  I had to watch my grandmother who I was very close to die of cancer in 7th grade, watch my grandfather’s mind slowly fade away until his death about a year later, discover my aunt’s abuses and watch my mom’s health deteriorate because of a surgeon who could care less about how he did his operation, but made sure to cover his tracks so he couldn’t be penalized.  With my father’s family, my grandparents have been in and out of the hospital with various cancers and dangerous diseases, even complications during surgery (however these surgeons told us what happened and reacted accordingly and I am so glad my mom’s surgeon is one in a million, the dishonest kind.  I would have rather not had to find that out with my mother, but still I’m glad honest people are our doctors and surgeons and nurses and want to thank all of them for the amazingly difficult job.)  

Making a long story short, I’ve of course had my difficult times as does everyone.  Every moment, every rough time someone has can’t be compared to someone elses life, but in every case you have two choices: 1. you can let it overtake you and pick the easy way out, letting it consume you, letting it break you or 2. work through it.  Yea it’s tough but these are the cards you’ve been dealt and this is what you have to deal with.  If my mom just checked out when her parents died and all of our family chaos was going on, nothing would have gotten done (and she was dealing with all this after her surgery, with all of the nerve damage and complications) and my dad helped keep us together and I took care of my sister.  We all had to deal with what we were given, and mom had the most to deal with.  She and my dad stayed strong for our family and still supported and loved my sister and I without fault.

Yea it’s hard.  It’s really hard to face situations head on, but honestly, no matter how overused it is, I do believe you do get stronger with every instance that doesn’t kill you and that’s why I’d don’t want to find my Never Never Land, I don’t want to be a child forever, I want to be the strong confident young woman I am now at this very moment, who had experienced pain and sadness and completely and total uncensored fear.  With our pain comes the beauty of growth and strength, if you can get through the toughest moments in life you can get through anything. 

Even though I don’t want my one Never Never Land, an eternity as a child complete, I will always celebrate the good moments in my life, no matter how simple or complex, a sunny day or my wedding, with the heart of a child because that is something that can never leave you if you stay strong.  Peter Pan has captured everyone’s heart and refused to let it go, refused to let you grow up.  Stay strong through your pain and love life with all the innocence of child, sweet, pure, and unequivocally beautiful.

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